For 7 Years, He Didn’t Tell Me He Hadn’t Quit Drinking Ever

10 years is a good time to know each other. 10 years are long enough to understand each other, value each other and give respect to each other. This is exactly what I used to think grabbing a cup of tea after he used to leave for work. Ours was a love marriage. I would not say completely love because my parents wanted me to get married desperately and I had known this guy for like 3-4 months. I thought this was enough time to judge someone before getting married. At least I knew.

He was good to me & he had always made me smile. But I had a condition, that I never my husband to drink alcohol or smoke or even be a non-vegetarian. I had set my priorities then and there and he agreed too. So it was fairly a good deal.

Right after 3 years of our marriage, I decided to quit my job and be a homemaker so I am ready to welcome our cute little princess. Life couldn’t have been better than. With Ananaya, we were a perfect family already while we had already started to think about bringing a sibling for her. Suddenly, Rishab told me we had to move to my hometown. As excited as anyone could be, I started preparing to meet my parents and stay near to their place. Who could take care of Ananya better than them? Rishab used to go in morning and come back by late evening and so we used to spend more time with my parents.

Rishab was busy with work so he used to spend most of his time in office including the weekends too sometimes. Then suddenly after couple of more months, he insisted on moving to a place much closer to his office and away from my parents place. I was reluctant at first but then he convinced me.

Things didn’t change much after moving there too. He was still much busy with work and was not coming home over the weekends. One day, while he was away, I decided to take his car for some grocery shopping. Right when I happen to open the dash box, I saw a box of cigarettes. I was shocked to the core. I could not feel my legs for a while. He promised that he would quit before our marriage and I had never seen him doing anything like such during all these years. Usually I used to have my dinner and go to bed before he would be back home but that day I waited. He came back and I asked him about the box of cigarettes. After mumbling for a while, he admitted that it was his and he never quit it.

I just could not believe how he made a fool out of me. It was a big lie and I had never imagined such a thing from him. We had a big fight where he mentioned how I got so busy with our daughter and my own parents that he was almost neglected.

What exactly went wrong?

Did I really forget about him totally?

Wasn’t he at fault in the first place?

We fought and fought and fought and went to sleep. I woke up with the decision to leave him and go back to my parents. But then,

Would my parents take me back?

For them it was a love marriage.

We stopped talking for few days and started again. This became a ritual. In a way, I had adapted to this non-talking and never-ending era of our marriage. Kind of he too had. It’s been 3 years to this incident and there was a time when we did not speak to each other for months.

I still don’t know who was right and who was wrong.

All i know is it’s humiliating. I wish I could quit.

Also read: 4 Parenting Styles That Are Being Used To Raise Kids

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