In India, girls grow with the thought of getting married and having kids. No doubt, they would start getting those motherly instincts as soon as they hit puberty. However, there are different categories of women in our country, one that is highly ambitious and wants to do something for their career, and another that’s willing to settle down and take care of their families. The later category is fine about having kids right after their marriage but the former category is reluctant to the thought of having kids (a few don’t want to get married too) despite this sounds like unfair to many people.
In fact the patriarchy categorises them as extraordinarily ambitious and selfish too but believe it or not, they have their very valid set of reasons you might want to agree to:
They are expected to leave their work
Right from day one, women are expected that they can work till they don’t have kids as if it’s like a temporally assignment they’ll be on. Why is it difficult to believe that a woman wants to work just to be independent and it’s not easy for them to leave things in the middle?
They know they can barely handle themselves, kids would be too much for them
In addition to working, many girls cook at home, take care of cleaning, wash clothes etc. and forget to take care of themselves. How would it be possible to handle kids amidst all the chaos that already keeps going on?
Even if the guys say they’ll support, women know that the burden will fall on their own shoulders only
Urban guys no longer deny taking care of kids but then they end up assuming that their lady is capable of managing everything without giving a thought that it’s not that easy for them to leave their careers too.
Help from families is not an option esp. for those staying away
Those who move to different cities for work purposes are often expected to be independent enough to take care of this later too. Again it is assumed that the woman is going to leave their job after the kid is born.
Not all office have day-care facilities
This is a big issue with some small level corporates as the big ones always take care of this. It’s time that the companies must believe that a day care facility in offices is just like having a loo or a pantry. They should include in their office budget only.
They feel they are not so healthy and It’s too exhausting
Women are working and taking care of household too and surely, forget to take care of their nutrition. For many of them, their bodies are not in a shape to go through this toll.
Everything is so costly
Have you looked at the prices of the diapers and maternity products? They are hell costly man. It’s not easy to be this financially independent and be in a position to take of another person’s expenses. Times have changed; we have to be financially stable before planning the baby now.
They know their kids would have to leave them, the way they had to
Whatever might be the reason, financial problems or career demand, people have to leave their hometowns and settle anywhere near their work places. Relocation is bound to happen due to fewer opportunities around their own houses. So even after having kids, if parents have to stay away and alone, they feel it’s better to be without them.
No offence to anyone but everyone has his or her own reasons. So, spare them and let them take their own decisions.